Some People are Targeted More than Others

It seems like every time I speak out about some form of abuse I experienced, I will have trolls in the comments, Or, in real life, telling me that I am the common denominator. I'm told that I'm the problem, but I'm dramatic, that I like chaos and that I seek it out because it seems to always be happening to me. Despite being able to document these experiences to show how they begin and how the end, there are many people who prefer to believe that a victim who speaks out is the problem.

The truth is some of us are targeted far more than others. Just as there are people who do the targeting far more than others. There is not an equal distribution of chaos in the world. This has to do with why it's happening.

I just heard of a study that talks about how superior intelligence activates the amygdala in people's brains. In other words, when people perceive you as smarter than them they feel threatened. It is my observation but the same or a similar occurrence happens when someone is more attractive, more empathic, more popular, more charismatic, more talented, etc. Simply put, what we've suspected this whole time is true. People are intimidated by us and they tried to destroy us to make them feel better.

If you have felt like you have been targeted more often due to your gender, race, store something else that makes you a minority or makes you stand out, you are most likely accurately observing reality. The world that we live in is built on white hetero male superiority which has created entitlements, consciously or subconsciously, in people who fit those demographics. We won't get into this topic here because it deserves it's an article, to validate your suspicion as you may likely be surrounded by people gaslighting you about it. If you happen to be white, hetero, or male I'm not saying that you are doing this consciously or that you are a bad person, just that we have a systemic issue to address.

Predators prey on people who have something they want. People who have more to offer are targeted more. If you are a kind, caring, empathetic person, a predator knows that they will get more out of you than someone who wouldn’t lift a finger for others. Sometimes they want something more tangible like your service, your money, or a free ride. Sometimes they want what’s intangible such as your attention, to be associated with your reputation, or just to be seen with you. Sometimes, they want to destiny-swap with you.

Predators, such as narcissists, target people who have more going for them so they can exploit what they can from you, and destroy what’s left so they can continue to feel superior. They want your light. The brightest souls get targeted the most because they are the juiciest meal to feed on.

The short answer to what we can do as people who are more often targeted by abusers than others, is to validate ourselves and trust ourselves that it is not all in our head. It also helps to know that we are being hated on because they perceive us as better than them. The long answer is to learn to love ourselves despite what our environment tries to dictate is our worth.